Hamburger Buns in 4 Packs

Why do all hamburger buns come in 8 packs? Why do hot dog buns sometimes come in packs of even more? Do no single people eat hamburgers? And how many families are really able to use all of these buns at once?

I never ate hamburgers when I lived on my own. I would have had to eat them for over a week straight, if I didn’t want the buns to go bad. For single people, there is a hamburger bun for each night of Hanukkah. Perhaps you think I should freeze them. Modern appliances allow this convenience. Unfortunately, I do not really enjoy the taste of frozen hamburger buns. Once they’ve been frozen they are never quite the same, and I have to eat them toasted to be able to really enjoy them.

And while I am not suggesting individually wrapped hamburger buns for single people, (because what the United States needs is really more packaging) I do wonder why it is that buns cannot be packaged in groups of 4. Or more to the point, why they aren’t.

As part of a couple, when I make hamburgers for dinner, even if both of use eat two, a four pack would be plenty. If I were living alone I could probably eat all four buns before they went bad. A family of four, eating one burger apiece would be doing just fine. And aren’t there more of us living in groups of one and two and four? Yes, some families have eight, but how many have three? Why all of this senseless waste of good white bread?

Is it easier to buy an extra pack or waste all of those buns? Why should I feel such a sense of futility at my wastefulness every time I want to grill out a burger? And perhaps I am wrong, but I think the bun companies should be all for this as well. Maybe they couldn’t charge as much for one pack of buns, but they could charge more for 2 packs– thereby getting more money from anyone who wanted 8. And all of those holdouts, who cannot bring themselves to eat a hamburger because of the guilt of the buns would rush back, with open arms, to reclaim the hamburger as a meal ripe for the eating.

Who stands to lose from selling hamburger buns in four packs? How can this go wrong? Perhaps sparrows in backyards across the nation will feel the hurt from this initiative, but the rest of us will sleep easier at night. If for the sake of the sparrows, you refuse to go for four-packs, couldn’t you at least sell me six? Four for me, and two for them? After all, the last thing we need is a country where the birds are obese, too!